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The Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch or PTSD is a newsource of serious political satire. Don't let a day go by without PTSD.

Sunday, July 04, 2010

by R J Shulman

WASHINGTON - (PTSD News) - We've all shuddered at the nightmare where we throw a party and nobody comes. But perhaps even worse, is to be invited to a birthday party and then be sent home before you get to eat the cake. Such is the fate of the current political football, the undocumented worker.

It's July 4th, the offical birthday of the United States of America and after gorging on red meat and sipping cool hops and ooohing and aaahing over fireworks and exploding oil wells, Americans these days seem to be obsessed with sending home illegal aliens, or more specifically those that look like they may have crossed from the south, not from the longer border to the north. These men women and children who come to the United States for work for decades have been called braceros, illegals, guest workers and worse. They all have one thing in common, they have all been underpaid.

Thanks to a new law passed by Arizona that tasks law inforcement with asking for papers of those that look suspicously like Spanish is their first langauge, illegal immigration has once again moved to the forefront. "The Republicans know how to whip up hatred toward brown skinned people when they are devoid of other issues or ideas," said Winton Tolliver, a political analysis from the Goldstone Institute said, "but they take a real gamble that if meaningful reform actually stems from their tyrades, they could lose the cheap labor that is so near and dear to their whole being." Tolliver noted that "while Democrats would like the illegal alien vote someday, they do not want to have their low wages depress wages of Americans. This is what makes this whole issue so difficult to solve."

"Its time to come clean if we are going to address the issue of illegal immigration," Tolliver said. "We can start first by changing the inscription on the Statue of Liberty to read, 'give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses so we can exploit them further and then use them again for political gain'."

But why ruin the birthday celebration? There are gardens to be gardened, fruit to be picked and profits to be made. Then we can think about telling them to leave the party.

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