Find A Lawyer
Find A Lawyer Counter


The Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch or PTSD is a newsource of serious political satire. Don't let a day go by without PTSD.

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

by R J Shulman

WASHINGTON - (PTSD News) - President Obama unveiled his Afghanistan plan, which is basically to send more troops into battle to wind down the war. Welcome to newspeak, to 1984.

While the president's actual plan did not come as a surprise, what has caught everyone off guard was what the Commander in Chief said in private, a comment that was leaked to the press. In a moment of candor, President Obama said to an aide, "If I don't send in more troops, the Republicans and corporate media will say I'm a gay French surrendanista and if I don't bring the troops home, most Dems will call me a war monger who didn't keep promises."

"For once I agree with the president," said Karl Rove after hearing that comment. "He's damned if he does and damned if he doesn't and I friggin' love it."

While the president tried to thread the needle, he may have ended up in the crossfire. "How stupid to give a timetable for pulling out," said Dick Cheney,"when we leave, al Qaeda will take over and the rest of the world will fall like dominoes, just like what happened when we surrendered in Vietnam." Democrats have are calling the Obama Administration Bush's third term.

Other critics have suggested the President should have taken different action. "The chief decider has wasted a perfectly good opportunity to invadicate Iran," said former President George W. Bush. "Who cares where the threat really is, everybody knows there ain't no oil in Afghanistan." "Why aren't we attacking the Soviet Union," said Glenn Beck, "just how many Communists are there really in Afghanistan?" Talk show host Michael Weiner, who uses the air name Michael Savage disagreed, "we should invade Mexico just to get even with them as they've been invading us for years." Finally, Sarah Palin suggested shooting the Taliban from helicopters. "If I were the president, I'd offer a reward to any soldier who brought me the left foot of a terrorist."

The president did receive support from a Senator who has generally been at odds with him. Joe Lieberman (I) of Connecticut said he was happy the president was sending more troops. "This expansion of the war will cost so much money we won't have any left for health care reform."

for the real news, visit CLG at


Post a Comment

<< Home