NEW REPUBLICAN STRATEGY FOR GLOBAL WARMING: IT'S GOOD FOR YOU
by R J Shulman

WASHINGTON - (PTSD News) - After years of denying the possiblity of climate change, the Republican Party has officially taken a new approach - saying global warming is good for America. "Global warming will give the United States longer growing seasons," said Senator Olympia Snowe of Maine. "It will make it easier to get drilling at the oil up here because it won't be so frozen and stuff," said former Governor Sarah Palin.

"While some parts of the country like here in Florida will get hotter," said Senator George LeMieux of Florida, "at least it will be warm enough in New York in winter to keep more non-Christians, from coming down here, if you know what I mean."

"Who cares if a few islands disappear," said Republican Party Chairman Michael Steele, "especially if it's Hawaii, so Obama could no longer claim he is an American."

"It figures Canadians would be stupid enough to be against global warming," said Senate Minority Leader John Boehner, "after all, they have socialized medicine."

Former Vice President Dick Cheney, who has strongly rejected the possibility of climate change has embraced the GOP strategy of pointing out the merits of global warming admitted, "The warmer it gets, the more I feel at home."

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