AFTER ELECTION RESULTS, FOX NEWS DECLARES DEMOCRAT PARTY DEAD
by R J Shulman

NEW YORK - (PTSD News) - Just moments after the polls closed last night, Fox News projected that "the Democrat party would suffer such a crushing defeat that they would never recover," according to Roger Ailes, President of Fox, "with the landslide victories in New Jersey and Virginia, it's official, there is no longer a Democrat party."

"The Dems Doomsday was inevitable from the complete failure of health care reform, the disastrous stimulus package misstep and Obama's surrendering to the world, like a wimpy Frenchman," said Neil Cavuto. Cavuto noted that Obama's approval rating was the lowest of any president since the stone age. "How could the Democrats survive when our unbiased poll shows that their president has a 127% disapproval rating, with 35% wanting him out of office, 48% wanting him impeached and removed from office, and 98% saying he was not born in the US and should be removed from office."

"Our research clearly showed that every vote for a Democrat this past Tuesday was a fraudulent one by Acorn," said Sean Hannity. "If we had uncovered these slippery America haters in time to stop their fake votes, Conservative Doug Hoffman would have won by a landslide in upstate New York."

"The end of the Democrat Party signals and end to the war on Christmas, the war on Creationism, and the war on rich white men who happen to be CEOs," said Bill O'Reilly.

"Equally important was the smashing defeat of the gay agenda by the voters of Maine who did not want to grant extra special rights to selfish couples who wanted to extend the institution of marriage to their disgusting choice of lifestyle," said Glenn Beck. "I know Jesus is proud of this vote as it is clear in the bible that he wouldn't want any Christian to hang out with a typical homosexual or someone who even seemed like one, you know like a well groomed unmarried guy in his thirties, who wears sandals, worships his mother as a saint and tells everyone he has sympathy for poor people yet is against war."

"With just one political party, the division in America is finally over," said Newt Gingrich. "And it's a good thing Republicans have completely prevailed so that the government will be run by people dedicated to proving that the Government can't do anything right."

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