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The Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch or PTSD is a newsource of serious political satire. Don't let a day go by without PTSD.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

by R J Shulman

WASHINGTON - (PTSD News) - Within a few days after Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid announced he would support a heath care bill with a provision that allowed states to opt out of a public option, Washington has been consumed with little else. With the exception of some liberals and progressives, most politicians have thrown their support behind this idea. "The Democrat party has been screaming how important it is for the American people to have a public option," said Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, "so how can they be against an option on an option."

Many are now suggesting an opt out for states should be expanded to other laws. "We feel that states should be able to opt out of civil rights laws," said Mississippi Governor Haley Barbour. Representative Joe Wilson (R-SC) said, "Just think of what I could have shouted at Obama if we had opted out of all that PC crap." "The opt out will rise again," said South Carolina Republican Lynn Westmoreland, "Heck, South Carolina has been trying to opt out since 1860."

New York has expressed an interest in opting out of securities fraud laws, while Texas has said it will opt out of the Bill of Rights and any other laws that get in the way of the unfettered use of the death penalty. "We are going to have an opt out referendum," said Phyllis Combstock, President of Mothers Organized Righteously Over Nothing or MORON, "so that Kansas can opt out of evolution." However, as one observer said, "that's already happened."

Senator Joe Lieberman of Connecticut also supports the opt out provision. "After all I opted out of the Democratic Party and opted out of being able to take the moral high ground on anything else again."

Large Corporations have also approved of the opt out idea. "We have successfully opted out of paying taxes so all we need now is to get tort reform passed so we can opt out of responsibility for any of our wrongdoings," said Jeffrey R. Immelt of General Electric.

Both talk show host Glenn Beck and Congresswoman Michele Bachmann support the opt out provision. "After all, Glenn and I have one big thing in common," said Bachmann, "we both have opted out of anything resembling sanity."

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