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Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch

The Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch or PTSD is a newsource of serious political satire. Don't let a day go by without PTSD.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

SAXBY CHAMBLISS: DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL WORKS SO WELL, IT SHOULD BE EXPANDED TO WORK PLACE
by R J Shulman
CHARLESTON, South Carolina - (PTSD News) - While there have been increasing calls for a reversal of the military's "Don't Ask Don't Tell" policy, South Carolina Senator Saxby Chambliss came to its defense. "No man wants to know whether that other man staring at him is doing so with evil intent, so he shouldn't have to ask if something contrary to God is going on in that man's head," said Chambliss, "so being kicked out of the military is a good incentive for the homosexual deviant to be stopped from destroying military discipline by blurting out that he has chosen an abnormal lifestyle."

Chambliss says the policy works so well, it should be expanded to the private sector. "So if someone has been lured into the gay lifestyle but doesn't care to admit it or choose to subject his fellow workers to Liza Minnelli albums, he shouldn't have to be fired."

Fellow South Carolinian, Representative Lynn Westmoreland, also defended Don't Ask Don't Tell. "This policy should be extended to African Americans. If someone is getting a little uppity, you shouldn't have to ask if they're black, and they shouldn't have to tell you as we don't want to be unfairly treating anyone who may or may not have to be put in their place. Of course, if they admit they're black, they do it at their own risk."

"You betcha I think all this not asking and not telling is a good policy," said former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin said, "except when I'm president I'll expand it to 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell, Just Shoot."

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