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The Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch or PTSD is a newsource of serious political satire. Don't let a day go by without PTSD.

Thursday, October 01, 2009


by R J Shulman
WASHINGTON - (PTSD News) - The great rift on health care between the two major political parties may be healing. "After months of bi-partisan bickering over health care, a Democrat has finally grasped what we are trying to do with our health care plan," said House Minority Leader John Boehner, referring to freshman congressman Alan Grayson of Florida who said the Republican health care plan was for people not to get sick and if they did, to die quickly.

"These Democrat liberals want to socialize medicine and punish healthy people for the poor choices of those that get themselves sick," Boehner said. "so it's a relief to hear Democrat Grayson get it that we Republicans are the ones who are trying to cut medical costs." "If people weren't so irresponsible as to get themselves into a situation where they get sick," said National Republican Congressional Committee spokesman Ken Spain, "the cost of premiums would go down, not to mention the costs caused by those reckless enough to get themselves infected with catastrophic diseases. If they linger on, they are a disaster on the insurance companies' bottom lines and threaten the very heart of the most sacred of American values - making sure CEOs get their promised bonuses."

"The death panels of the Obama plan call for government bureaucrats decide if someone should live or die while the Republicans support the right of private sector to make such decisions," said Representative Jimmy Duncan, R-Tennessee.

"Grayson was originally attacked by Republicans for his comments until they realized he understood their position," said political analyst Fram Traynor.

"I hate to admit that a Democrat is right," said Representative Michele Bachmann of Minnesota, "but he is correct that it's a crime to let irresponsible people drive up the health costs of the healthy, especially evil are those that choose to force the cost of their lingering death on the American taxpayer. Our plan will eliminate these freeloaders and I am proud to support it. In fact, I wouldn't be caught dead without it."

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