SENATE VOTES TO ALLOW GUNS ON TRAINS:AMTRAK TO BECOME AIMTRAK

by R J Shulman

WASHINGTON - (PTSD News) - A new law passed by the Senate will allow passengers to bring their firearms with them when they travel on Amtrak. The 68-30 vote would prohibit federal funding of Amtrak unless individuals are allowed to bring their guns on the train.

There seems to be grass roots support for the measure. "I feel safe riding on Amtrak," said Barton Conroy of Crewe, Virginia, "because now I can protect myself if I get in the crossfire between tea baggers, birthers, deathers, tenthers, Obama-ites, sodomites and the just plain uptights." "I'm glad that the federal government is protecting our Second Amendment rights," said Trig Morgan of Ukiah, California. "Now I can bring my .357 Magnum with me when I take the train to protest rallies against big government." "Having my gun will protect me against others' criminal behavior," said Shirley Galloway of Valdosta, Georgia, "I just can't wait to shoot the next creep who tries to take my favorite seat."

The National Transportation Safety Board agrees that the new bill will promote travel safety. "Now passengers have the option to whip out their piece when they need to force the train engineer stop texting and pay attention to driving the train," said Laharla Simpson of the NTSB.

In a related story, actor Samuel L. Jackson has agreed to star in a new horror movie sequel to Snakes on a Plane called Guns on a Train.

for the real news, visit CLG at www.legitgov.org