DOCTORS REPORT THE TRUTH IS ON LIFE SUPPORT IN HEALTH CARE DEBATE

by R J Shulman

WASHINGTON - (PTSD News) - Doctors have reported that due to the health care debate The Truth is "circling the drain." "The Truth was in good health when this discussion started," said Dr. Blythe Donovan of the Bethesda Medical Center, "but he has been kicked around, stretched, twisted and shredded within inches of his life by a bipartisan group of congressmen and women commonly known as the "Pack of Lies."

The Pack, led by Senators Kyl of Arizona and Baucus of Montana have hit the talk circuit like Pinocchio on steroids. "Our bill will be good for America," Baucus said, "because we will force everyone to buy private health care and let the insurance companies use their best judgment to charge what they think is fair. Now what is more American than that?" "Allowing an incompentant government health plan to compete with insurance companies would put the private companies out of business and drive the CEOs to go on welfare paid for by you and me, the taxpayer," said Senator Kyl.

"Who cares about the truth anyway," said talk show host Rush Limbaugh, "and who cares about losers who are stupid enough to get sick, and who cares if America is destroyed and the planet becomes completely uninhabitable. There is only one goal here, my friends and that is to make sure Obama fails."

The Pack, with the aid of conservative talk radio has convinced a sizable part of the population that health care reform means death panels, doctor rationing, having to wait on former DMV bureaucrats to process their health care claims, illegal aliens impregnating their daughters after confiscating their guns, before they are hauled away to internment camps run by Kenyan thugs and children indoctrinated by Obama talking to them while they are in godless schools so they can force them into homosexuality by giving you genital warts.

"Frankly, we don't think the patient is going to make it," said Dr. Donovan. "So I guess we will have to tell Truth's next of kin, Integrity and Ethics as soon as we can find them." "With the Truth gone, we will be able to say anything we want," said Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, "although we pretty much do that already."

Outside Bethesda Medical Center, a group of aging hippies have been holding a candlelight vigil for the Truth, hoping he will make a recovery. "It's all our generation's fault,' said 62 year-old Herman "Groovy" Greasorius of Bethel, New York, "instead of us wanting peace, love and dope, it should have been peace, love and truth."

When asked if it was a shame that the Truth is dying, former President Bill Clinton said, "it depends on what you mean by "is." George W. Bush said that "Truth is a relative thing. That is only my relatives are entitled to hear the truth, heh-heh, heh-heh." Former Vice President Dick Cheney said, "It is clear now that Truth is in its final throes."

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