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The Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch or PTSD is a newsource of serious political satire. Don't let a day go by without PTSD.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

by R J Shulman

WASHINGTON - (PTSD News) - No sooner had Attorney General Eric Holder announced that five high profile detainees from Guantanamo prison were going to be brought to trial in New York, the Republicans sprang into action. "We're so excited Holder is bringing those terrorists here for trial," said Republican National Chairman Michael Steele, "now we can go to town with our fake outrage."

"Our message to the American people is that the Muslim infested Democrat Party brings terrorists into our country to make heroes of them. We will pound this message 24/7 on Fox and the other networks will soon pick up on it. This is manna from heaven," said House Minority Whip Eric Cantor. "America will see it's Republicans who want to keep them safe with our fair and balanced torture program."

What American would vote Democrat again when we tell them liberals are granting special rights to those terrorist killers," said Texas Senator John Cornyn, "special rights like the right not to be tortured, the special right not to be denied an attorney, and the special right not to be put away for life without a trial. What's next for these Democrat special rights granters? The right for gay Muslims to marry?"

"I can't believe this outrageous pre-9/11 approach is being proposed in my city," said former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani, "If I had been made mayor for life, like I should have been after 9/11, I would never let these 9/11 terrorists set foot in my post-9/11 city. Did I forget to mention 9/11?"

The former Vice President Dick Cheney had harsh words for the Democrats. "Don't these idiots know you can't go to the dark side if trials are out in the open?" "It's a good thing that I and the Republicans had the good sense to block socialized medicine," said Senator Joe Lieberman, "or those terrorists would be getting free taxpayer paid health care."

"If I only had this issue during the campaign," said Senator John McCain, "I would have wiped Obama all over the electoral map, even with that albatross Palin on my back." Sarah Palin had her own comment on the trials being brought to New York, "where are those Obama death panels when we need them," she said.

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