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The Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch or PTSD is a newsource of serious political satire. Don't let a day go by without PTSD.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

by R J Shulman

NEW YORK - (PTSD News) - TV host Glenn Beck has been placed on suicide watch ever since the defeat of Doug Hoffman by Bill Owens in upstate New York. Beck, who frequently cries on his show between rants against liberals, gays and the defunct Soviet Union, had to be dragged from the taping of his show last Friday, after he threw himself on the floor of Fox's studio, screaming he didn't want to live anymore because Hoffman, who was a dedicated Beck fan, lost the election.

"At first we thought it was part of his show," said Stu Burguiere executive producer of the show, "but when the tantrum hit the five minute mark, we stopped the tape and brought in the medics. Then we found the note." Burguiere is referring to the suicide note found in Beck's dressing room which read, "I Glenn Lee Beck of sound mind and body can no longer bear the pain of living in a country run by Acorn, Muslims and the Soviet Union."

Beck was driven to Bellevue Hospital, drooling and clutching a copy of his best selling book, Arguing with Idiots. Dr. Ross Thurman said Beck is now stable condition." While wishing Beck a quick recovery, MSNBC's Keith Olbermann said he wasn't sure Beck was ever in stable condition.

Fox is currently running previously taped shows, and since Beck's message is generally the same, Fox believes that no one will notice they are watching reruns.

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