INSURANCE LOBBY REDUCES UNEMPLOYMENT BY HIRING THUGS FOR TOWN HALL MEETINGS
by R J Shulman
WASHINGTON - (PTSD News) - Those angry voices shouting out slogans against health care reform at town hall meetings come from a group that is actually grateful as thanks to the Insurance lobby, they have recently left the ranks of the unemployed. "I'm supposed to yell stuff like 'Obama's healtscare reform wouldn't even work in Kenya where Obama was born,'" said Cliff Fegelmeyer of Easton, Pennsylvania. Fefelmeyer was recently hired by UnitedHealthCare after being laid off by an auto parts maker last September. United, CIGNA and the Republican National Committee have hired an estimated 5,500 unemployed thugs, bullies and emotionally challenged people to swarm into town hall meetings to shout down any intelligent discussion on the issues.

"I kind of liked Obama," said Hennie Reece of Tarboro, North Carolina, "but he didn't get me a job, CIGNA did. I get travel expenses to go to the meetings and say bad things about health care reform." "I've been out of work since 2000 when the Republicans paid me to yell at them vote counters who were trying to have Al Gore steal the election from a real American, George Bush," said Bull Casey of Elkhart, Indiana. "So it was great when they called me back and told me to go to a meeting and call Obama a Communist Nazi leftist fascist."

Thug unemployment had topped the 10% mark in late May, a little above the national average. Due to the sudden hiring frenzy by big insurance and the GOP, the unemployment level for thugs has dropped to 6.3%. "It' a thugs life for me," said Billy Singleton of Laurel, Deleware. Singleton had just returned from a town hall meeting in Lebanon, Pennsylvania where he held a sign that said, "Obama will kill your grandmother, so he can give health care to Spanish speaking Muslim terrorist illegal alien rapists."

When asked what he really thought about health care reform, Jerold Hart of Mariana, Florida said "I don't have to worry about it anymore, now that my new employer UnitedHealthCare gave me some good health insurance benefits."

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