LAST COMPASSIONATE CONSERVATIVE COLLEGE TO CLOSE DOORS
by R J Shulman
NEW HOPE,Pennsylvania - (PTSD News) - Citing a sharp drop in enrollment, Compassionate Union Conservative University ("CUCU") located in this peaceful Pennsylvania town will close its doors for good at the end of August. CUCU's closing marks the end of a once healthy group of compassionate conservative institutions of higher learning that saw unprecedented growth immediately following the inauguration of George W. Bush in 2001.

"We had to turn students away back then," said CUCU Dean of Students Harvey Cox, "but when people realized that Bush was neither conservative nor compassionate, interest in our curriculum waned." Cox said the death knell came when conservatives lambasted Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor for daring to possibly consider compassion or empathy in how she arrived at her legal decisions.

CUCU's closing is on the heels of the demise of Thousand Points of Light College which went dark at the end of June. CUCU students who had not yet completed their degree can transfer their classes to UHOF, the University of Hope Obama Fails in Hazard, Kentucky.

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