TEAMS SHY AWAY FROM VICK'S CONDITIONAL RETURN TO NFL
by R J Shulman
NEW YORK (PTSD News) No football team has shown serious interest in one time star quarterback Michael Vick after his conditional reinstatement to the NFL by Commissioner Roger Goodell. "It's not so much his conviction for illegal dog fighting or whether or not he can still play at a high level," said Oakland Raiders owner Al Davis, "the problem with Vick are those darn conditions placed on him by the NFL."

Davis is referring to the specific conditions placed upon any NFL team that would hire Vick. One of the conditions of his return is that if Vick performs poorly and loses too many games, his own team would have to either hang, shoot or electrocute him. "It's only fair," Goodell told ESPN, "that Vick's performance earn him the same treatment he gave his own dogs who performed badly."

"We could use a good experienced quarterback now that Brett Farve is staying retired," said Zygi Wilf one of the owners of the Minnesota Vikings, "but as tough as our guys are and for as much as they hate to lose, I just can't see them frying their own quarterback after a tough loss."

Vick's best hope may be the brand new NFL Los Angeles franchise, tentatively called the LA Christians, who say they have not ruled out Vick. "After all this is Hollywood," said owner Jude Roman, "where we like our big names and our big drama. We'd even have Michael Jackson on the team if he wasn't dead, heck, we might still have Jackson on the team." The new LA team will play Detroit in their home opener in 2010. "It'll be the Christians versus the Lions at the LA Coliseum," said Roman, "what more could you ask for to make Americans forget that their country is going to hell."

Vick said he would consider any offers, even the new LA team. "I will do anything to get back to the game I love," Vick said, "even if I have to work like a dog."

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