GOP BEGRUDGINGLY ENDORSES SOTOMAYOR:"AT LEAST SHE ISN'T A PARAPLEGIC MUSLIM LESBIAN"
by R J Shulman
WASHINGTON (PTSD News) Senate Republicans have all but thrown in the towel in their opposition to the nomination of Sonia Sotomayor to the United States Supreme Court. "Those Democrats wanted to broaden the makeup of the Court," said Lindsey Graham, R-South Carolina, "so I guess they will get their broad, after all."

"In the interests of showing how we Republicans can be accepting of minorities, I will say to you today that there are some advantages to having her on the court," said Jeff Sessions, R-Alabama, "as a wise Latina, she has the background and experience to launder the other judges robes and watch their grandchildren when needed." "It's a shame she was picked simply because of her race," said Senator Orren Hatch of Utah, "not like Clarence Thomas, who was chosen for his unparalleled intellectual brilliance."

"Some compassion is OK, I guess," said Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, "as long as it is the type of compassion President Bush showed to the people of New Orleans when Katrina hit." "I am glad she said she will uphold the rule of law," said Arizona Senator John Kyl, "because we can't have judges legislating from the bench and changing laws, unless, of course, the laws are too liberal."

Sotomayor is expected to be confirmed by the end of the week.

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