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Tuesday, June 30, 2009

MARTHA STEWART TO DECORATE MADOFF'S CELL
by R J Shulman

NEW YORK - (PTSD News) - Martha Stewart announced today she will make Bernie Madoff's jail cell seem like he never left the office. "We will use color coordinated material left over from shoulder pads, and pad the walls of his cell like he padded his client's accounts and there will be a fake Persian rug on the floor to remind him of all of his fake investments. His comfy 300 thread count sheets which are actually 100 count prison garbage, that he will claim are 300 count, will give him a great night's sleep so he will be at his best in the morning to take a cigarette from each new inmate, promising them an investment return of a carton in the near future."

"Of course, his cell phone will really be a cell phone," Stewart said, "but it's unique black and white stripes will make the Blackberry "Joint" look fabulous as he paces back and forth in his room saying, 'can you hear me now?'"

Music will be produced by Phil Spector and contractors will be hired by former Alaska Senator Ted Stevens.

"All in all, his jail experience will be so phenominal," said Stewart, "that it will make 150 years seem like a mere 50." Stewart's next project?: Extreme Guantanamo Makeover.

for the real scoop visit CLG at www.legitgov.org.

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