GOP TENT COLLAPSES TRAPPING DOZENS OF MODERATES

by R J Shulman

WASHINGTON - (PTSD News) - The large tent under construction by the Republican party unexpectiedly caved in today, trapping many people inside who were trying to move the party away from some of its most extreme positions. Observers say the center of the tent buckled, leaving only the far right section of the tent intact. An unconfirmed report said that Dick Cheney, Rush Limbaugh and TV evangelist Pat Robertson were seen talking near the center pole when it snapped in two.

RNC chairman Michael Steele blamed the tent disaster on "a liberal conspiracy." Steele spoke from a Washington police station where he was temporarily detained. "I saw this black guy lurking around inside the ruined tent of the Republicans," said DC police officer Clifton Harshaw, "and that looked awfully suspicious to me."

Not everyone in the tent was upset with the tent's demise. "It's kind of cozy in here now," said Rawley Clemson IV, a large landowner from Bessemer, Alabama, "when the tent fell on my face, I just whipped out my knife and cut two eye holes. It was just like old times."

Latest word is that the GOP cannot agree on a plan to rebuild the tent. "We all agree on one thing," said Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, "we will say 'no' to whatever Omama says."

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