CONGRESS' NEW HEALTH CARE PROPOSAL:SYSTEM TO BE RUN BY SOMALI PIRATES

by R J Shulman

WASHINGTON - (PTSD News) - After a luke warm reception to President Obama's proposal for a government option plan to compete with private health insurance, Congress has offered its own bipartisan plan. "With falling profits at the heart of our economic downturn, we need a health plan that will do a better job of being more efficient at providing strong returns to the American public that can afford to invest in big health care corporations," said Senator Max Baucus, Democrat of Montana," and what better group to run it than pirates." "I agree that a little swashbuckling needs to be infused into the ailing healthcare system," said Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, "These pirates are good as saying, 'your money or your life' and isn't that the essence of the American healthcare system?"

"This is a genuine bipartisan effort," said Mary Landrieu, Democrat of Louisiana, "after all if lobbyists are bipartisan, why shouldn't we be?" "Those that want to shove a single payor plan on the American people are narrow minded and want to limit the option of the public," said Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, "In our proposal you will have the opportunity to pay not just if you are single, but also if you are married, divorced, confused or dead. The important thing is that you will be a payor."

"Having real pirates imported from Somalia to run our healthcare instead of continuing with the wanna be pirates who run it now is a win, win situation," said Senator John McCain, "we get to have no government interference in healthcare profits and we clean up the shipping lanes around Africa at the same time."

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