GOP TO SAY NO TO BEING THE PARTY OF NO
By R J Shulman
WASHINGTON - (PTSD News) - Battered in the polls and labeled as the party of “no,” leading Republicans have launched a campaign to reshape their party’s image. “We have become the party of “yes,” said Rep. Eric Cantor, the number two Republican in the House, “as in yes we have no health plan, yes we have no viable economic plan, and of course yes to no on everything Obama says.”

The new initiative, called America’s New Opportunities, or America’s NO for short, has top Republicans traveling to the heart of America to spread their new message of “yes.” “Even when we say no, it means yes,” said Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal. “You know like when a chick says no, how it really means yes. When the broads hear just how much we understand them, the skirts will flock to the GOP like they would to a shoe sale at Macy’s.”

“We are excited about our new plan to bring fresh young faces to the public, like Senator John McCain and show them how we have political outsiders who are the first in their family to try politics, like Jeb Bush,” said Mitt Romney, who is also part of the new Republican strategy.
“We have to overcome the propaganda of the liberal media who have said we conservatives say no all the time. Our new initiative will show how we have said yes to torture, wiretapping and tax breaks for the rich,” said Governor Haley Barbour of Mississippi.

“We want to have a wide open discussion when we meet the American people,” said Newt Gingrich, “before we tell them they are either with us real Americans or against us.” “We want to be a more inclusive party. The Democrats may have a large tent, but the new Republicans will now be the party of the large bunker,” said Dick Cheney.

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