PELOSI: IMPEACHMENT IS BACK ON THE TABLE
By R J Shulman
WASHINGTON (PTSD News) – Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi announced today that she is putting impeachment back on the table. “This is to show our willingness to be bi-partisan,” Pelosi told reporters, “This in not impeachment of Bush or Cheney, as bygones should be bygones. And since we need to move forward, it would be impeachment of Barack Obama.”

“I support this move,” said Newt Gingrich, “Obama hasn’t fixed the economy, hasn’t turned the Middle East into one big America and Christian loving democracy, he hasn’t disarmed North Korea or brought back Plymouth and the Oldsmobile. He should be impeached.” “It will be hard to know which reason to impeach Barack Hussein Hussein Hussein Hussein Obama first,” said commentator Michael Savage, “but even worse than calling conservative patriots who want to overthrow his communist regime terrorists, is the simple fact that his middle name is Hussein.” “The real reason he should be impeached is that he didn’t get a dog from the pound but got a purebred instead,” said John Boehner, House Minority leader. “It just makes me weep to think of all the pound kitties and pups that will have to die horrible deaths because Americans will follow Obama’s lead and get pure-breds instead.”

“Serves him right to get impeached,” said Bill O’Reilly “as all right thinking Americans don’t want a president who is planning on making everyone pledge allegiance to the Koran as their guns are confiscated.” “If Obama is impeached and removed from office,” said Governor Rick Perry of Texas, “then the Lone Star State won’t have to secede from the Union.”

“This is proof that sending out our minions to a grass roots tea party worked,” said Glenn Beck. “Just one week after we tea-bagged Obama, he’s getting impeached.” “What I want to knowicate about this re-impeachment stuff,” said former President George W. Bush, “is just what kind of table impeachment is being put back on.” “I hope it’s a folding table,” said an unidentified Obama supporter.

President Obama did not comment on impeachment as he was too busy solidifying international relationships with foreign leaders and working on the banking crisis.

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