PIRATES APOLOGIZE TO LIMBAUGH: WE FAILED AT MAKING OBAMA FAIL
by R J Shulman

MOGADISHU, Somalia (PTSD News) The remaining pirate who was captured after three of his companions were killed by Navy snipers, made a public apology. “I am most sorry to have failed to bring down failure on President Obama, as El Rushbo asked us to do,” said Sagal Waabbiri through an interpreter. Captain Richard Phillips was held captive by Somali pirates after they had boarded the Maersk Alabama cargo ship.

“Those idiots botched it up,” Limbaugh said. “They were supposed to succeed in their mission to take the ship and certainly not let the captain get away. They were supposed to make Obama look bad, pure and simple.”

“I don’t think Limbaugh really meant he wanted Obama to personally fail, “said GOP Chairman Michael Steele, “he just wants Obama’s policies to fail.” Steele later apologized to Limbaugh correcting his statement and said, “yep, Mr. Limbaugh does want Obama to fail.”

“We need a catastrophe on Obama’s watch, and I don’t mean an oxycontin shortage although that is truly catastrophic,” Limbaugh said. “I am working on a plan to have our financial system completely tank and for America to be attacked by terrorists with hundreds of American’s killed. Then we can blame Obama.”

In a related story, Bernie Madoff also apologized to Limbaugh. “I am sorry I got caught when I did. I planned to totally ruin the economy so it could be blamed on Obama. “I also apologize to Mr. Limbaugh,” said Osama Bin Laden on his latest tape. “For him I was going to make another attack on America to make Obama look bad, but my men didn’t believe Mr. Limbaugh could get them 72 virgins.”

CNN, ABC and NBC have also apologized to Limbaugh for not presenting Obama in a spectacularly unfavorable light. “It is inexcusable that these communist networks continue their love affair with Obama. It’s about time to break the engagement.”

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