MASSACHUSETTS TO MAKE SEXTING PUNISHABLE BY PILLORY
By R J Shulman
BOSTON – (PTSD News) Massachusetts became the first state in the union to specifically outlaw sexting, that is the sending of graphic pictures of oneself over the phone, a practice now rampant with teens. “We needed put an end to this immoral behavior, said Hal Winslow Thorpe a Republican from Haverhill who introduced the legislation, “and what better way to recapture good traditional American family values than to punish the sinners by putting them in a pillory in the town square or village green.”

“I can once again feel proud to be a Massachusian,” said Reverend Jonathan Edwards of the Plymouth Congregational Church, “with all this gay marriage and other heathen liberal stuff our state was getting such a bad name that it looked like we'd have to get Mayflower movers to haul us back to England so we could live moral lives.” “I like this kind of public humiliation type of punishment,” said Representative Standish Blake of Worcester, “I intend to make it the law that women who commit adultery wear a large letter A on their chest. And it is no accident that pillory rhymes with Hillary,” he added.

This anti-sexting law may be the new trend as Idaho is contemplating a similar bill. “We need to take a strong and wide stance against sexting,” said Larry Craig, “and I for one want our bill to allow for tap tap taping into the phones of young people so we can see just how deliciously sinful those young men are before we punish them.”

“I feel this imminent sense of connecting with our great colonial past,” said Putnam Brewster, Mayor of Beverly, “that I am rounding up a band of fellows to raid the Pequot Indians. I hear they have a lot of wampum down there in Foxwoods.”

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