GOP: US MUST ATTACK EUROPE TO STOP SPREAD OF SOCIALIZED MEDICINE
By R J Shulman
WASHINGTON (PTSD News) – Citing it as the greatest scare since the cold war, GOP lawmakers and conservative pundits have urged President Obama to launch a full scale attack on Europe to stop the proliferation of socialized medicine. “Under the Bush Pre-emptive Strike Doctrine, Obama has the right and the duty to attack and invade Europe before yet another innocent country falls to socialized medicine,” said Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell.

“We should start by bombing Denmark,” said House Minority Leader John Boehner, “We need to stop their terrorist exporting of socialized medicine and we must stop the proliferation of those Danish breakfast pastries that threaten American cardio-vascular systems.” “There is a threat even closer to home, said Senator Sam Brownback of Kansas, “and that is Canada who have been breathing the icy chill of socialized medicine across our common border. Just like the Cuban missile crisis, it is time to point our nukes at a neighbor, but this time in a northerly direction.”

“The agenda of these Fascio-Marxists is to infiltrate and destroy the American health care system, said former Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist who has made millions from his ownership interest in Hospital Corporation of America, “They hate us for our freedom - the freedom of our insurance companies and HMOs to charge whatever they want to in a free market system.”

“It may already be too late, my friends,” said talk show host Michael Savage, “the enemy within has already infiltrated Congress and even worse, President Barack Marx Lenin Stalin Hussein Obama is one of them.” Most conservatives have joined in the push to get the President to commit to some military action, but Rush Limbaugh shocked his fellow conservatives when he said he might come out in support of an American form of socialized medicine if it meant that under this new health care system he could obtain oxycontin easier.

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