DAVID VITTER DEFENDS SCUFFLE WITH AIRPORT EMPLOYEE: I THOUGHT SHE WAS A HOOKER
By R J Shulman
WASHINGTON – (PTSD News) Senator David Vitter lashed out at those who criticized his apparent outburst at Dulles Airport when he was told that he was too late to board his scheduled flight. “He just went ballistic when I told him no,” said Mary Jane Humboldt, an airport employee, “He started screaming and yelling and told me he was a senator and a big, big man and that I couldn’t say no to him.”

“I thought she was a call girl,” Vitter explained, “and it is my experience that you have to talk to those kind of women that way.” Vitter was referring to the fact that his name was found prominently in the little black book of DC Madame Deborah Jean Palfrey. Vitter recently received a standing ovation from his fellow Republican senators regarding his infamous connection to Palfrey’s call girl ring. “We couldn’t help ourselves but to cheer David,” said Senator Jim DeMint of South Carolina, “as he is the first Republican involved in a sex scandal in a long while who got involved with a woman. We were celebrating his non-gayness.” “I am not gay,” said Larry Craig in a press release, tryig in vain to tap into the Vitter story.

“This is all Obama’s fault,” said Rush Limbaugh, “I told you that if that man got in the White House that the airports would soon be bursting at the seams with pimps ad hos.” GOP chairman Michael Steele who at first criticized Limbaugh’s comments as insensitive and ugly, later back tracked, thanking Limbaugh for using terms that show that the new Republican party is now a more hip-hop urban organization.

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