GOP TO BLOCK OBAMA’S FEMA PICK: HE’S OVER-QUALIFIED
By R J Shulman

WASHINGTON – (PTSD News) – Republican leaders have expressed outrage that Barack Obama has nominated Craig Fugate as the new head of the Federal Emergency Management Agency. “Sure, Fugate coordinated Florida’s response to eleven natural disasters, but has he ever been around Arabian horses?” asked Newt Gingrich. “This man is wholly over-qualified to run FEMA.”

“If a hurricane were to hit New Orleans again with Fugate at the helm it would be catastrophic,” said Trent Lott, “because he could actually save some black people.” “Fugate is the wrong choice with the wrong name,” said former President George W. Bush, “It would sound absotively moronicness to say, you’re doin’ a heck of a job, Fugie.”

“Fugate would probably block the use of formaldehyde riddled trailer homes for disaster victims,” said William T. Sandford, president of the Home Manufacturers Association, “which would leave the home manufacturers stuck with too much inventory.” “Obama picking a guy with actual disaster experience is a disaster for us Republicans,” said Karl Rove, “as it would shoot holes in our mantra that the private sector can always do it better than government. If Fugate does his job well, it would interfere with our plans to privatize disaster relief, you know where only if you have enough money you will be saved.”

“With all this competence in Washington,” lamented on long time resident, “I just don’t recognize this town anymore.”

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