OBAMA NAMES DALE EARNHARDT NEW CAR CZAR
By R J Shulman
WASHINGTON – (PTSD News) – In a move to help the ailing American auto industry, President Barack Obama named racing legend Dale Earnhart as his car czar. When he was told that Earnhardt had been killed in a racing accident in 2001, Obama said, “So what? Detroit is dead and we gave them a bundle of money anyway.”

Dale’s widow, Teresa and son Dale Earnhardt, Jr. will be heading up the newly formed WWDD or What Would Dale Do Foundation to make sure that decisions regarding the auto industry would reflect what the elder Earnhardt would have suggested to Detroit automakers. “We are going to bring back the muscle car like the Plymouth Duster and AMC Barracuda,” said Earnhardt, Jr., “except the Barracuda will be renamed the Hillary.” Mrs. Earnhardt said,“we will make sure all Chryslers have rich Corinthian leather again, and bring in a new glorious American car renaissance in which ginormous Packards and Hudsons will once again dominate the American roads.”

The Earnhardts haven’t said that they will call for a new and improved Edsel as some have speculated, but they have plans to resurrect the Pinto and Corvair to “show those Japanese and Koreans just how to build a great small car.”