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The Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch or PTSD is a newsource of serious political satire. Don't let a day go by without PTSD.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

By R J Shulman
TUCSON, Arizona – (PTSD News) – Ron Staeger, chairman of the Arizona based Deport Illegal Immigrants Now or DII Now is calling for Congress to do whatever it takes to derail Obama’s stimulus package and any other plan to jump start the economy. “For the first time perhaps ever, the catastrophic state of the American economy has made it pointless for anyone to come here looking for work,” Staeger said, “which means that illegal immigration is finally under control.”

Tom Tankredo, former Republican representative from Colorado and noted immigration foe, agreed, “The last thing we need if for America to become the land of opportunity again.” “If we do anything at all,” Staeger said, “we need to cut all taxes to the rich, deregulate completely and do more of what we have done in the past eight years to destroy the economy.”

“That moron Bush was really a genius,” said talk show host Michael Savage, “who knew that a guy who basically shut down the English language would be the one to shut down the border.”

Recent statistics seem to support DII Now and Savage’s theories that a bad economy is good for border control. Since 2003, illegal immigration is down 95%. However, the dire US economy has spawned a new phenomenon – formerly well to do white mortgage brokers illegally crossing the border into Mexico looking for work. “This is a problema enorme,” said Fermin Gonzales, of Servicio Migratorio, the Mexican immigration agency, “We must put an end to these ‘broke backs’ as we call the mortgage brokers who are sneaking illegally into our country to, how you say suck up all of our precious resources.”


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