GOP TO RECRUIT SULLENBERGER FOR PRES, ASK FOR ELECTION DO-OVER
By R J Shulman
WASHINGTON – (PTSD News) – The Post Times Sun Dispatch has learned that the Republican party will ask Capt. Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger to run as their presidential candidate. “America is looking for a real hero who did something heroic,” said acting GOP party chairman Rush Limbaugh, referring to Sullenberger’s miraculous landing of Flight 1549 in the Hudson River, “America doesn’t need a blow hard who is good with words, but has never been tested in a crisis. We don’t need a “yes we can” when we can have a “yes we did.”

Not only does the GOP have designs to run Sullenberger as their candidate, they have filed suit to have the November results voided and have a new election. “There is nothing in the Constitution that says you can’t void and election and have a new one if you find a true hero after the voting is over.” said GOP attorney Ted Olson.

“It’s a relief to finally have a plan for the future instead of just trying to obstruct Obama,” said Newt Gingrich. “Polls show Sullenberger has a 90% approval rating.” “I think it would be fun, you betcha, to pal around with the captain to gather up votes,” said Sarah Palin, “as long as he knows he is the vice presidential candidate.”

“When asked what he thought about running for president, Sullenberger said he had not heard of the offer, but said it would be easier to land a plane in a volcano full of molten lava that to go to Washington and try to clean up that mess.