FOX NEWS: STIMULUS PACKAGE WRITTEN BY SATAN
By R J Shulman
NEW YORK (PTSD News) – Fox News has reported that President Obama’s stimulus package was actually drafted by Lucifer himself. “They usually say that the devil is in the details,” said Bill O’Reilly, “but in this case the Devil wrote those details.”

“This bill is pure evil,” said House Minority Leader, John Boehner of Ohio, “It takes away your guns and gives them to gays who can hold your beloved minister at gunpoint and force him to simultaneously perform a gay marriage and an abortion at the same time.” “Under this satanic bill,” said Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, “they will confiscate your bibles and give them to Muslims who will force the Sports Illustrated swimsuit models to put on berkas.”

“This filthy piece of legislation provides that the diseased unwashed illegal aliens can throw you out of your house faster than a foreclosing bank, and force you to live in the illegals’ broken down vans,” said talk show host Michael Savage, “and I won’t mince words here, no less than 37 of you will have to live in those rusty roach infested vehicles.”

The bill sparked a debate between talk show host Sean Hannity and Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont. “This bill is so Communistic, Marx and Lennin would turn capitalistic on the spot,” Hannity said. “And what is worse is that it forces you to give your hard earned money to the terrorists in the middle east just to buy gas for your car.” “We already do that,” Senator Sanders reminded Hannity. “OK,” replied Hannity, “this bill will cause your first born male child to be called into service in Satan’s army.” “Chaney already did that with the Iraq war,” Sanders replied.

President Obama is scheduled to sign the stimulus package into law early this week.

FOR THE IMPORTANT NEWS PTSD RECOMMENDS THAT YOU VISIT CITIZENS FOR LEGITIMATE GOVERNMENT AT http://www.legitgov.org/