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The Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch or PTSD is a newsource of serious political satire. Don't let a day go by without PTSD.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

By R J Shulman
SAN DIEGO – (PTSD News) – Predictions of a dire yacht sale season may prove to be erroneous as sales of large boats hit new holiday levels according figures just released by the Boat Manufactures and Retailers of America. “After the collapse of the capital markets, we thought we were sunk,” said Raleigh Westerfield of Marquis Yachts, “but thanks to Henry Paulson, Bush and Congress, our boating business has been kept afloat.”

“One minute, I thought I was going to be in the unemployment line,” said Sol Burns of Goldman Sachs, “and the next I am on line to buy a Chris-Craft 36 footer. Thank you, taxpayers!”

The 58% increase from last year’s Friday after Thanksgiving yacht sales has given hope that this rising tide will help raise the rest of the luxury boating industry such as slip rentals and deck furniture sales. However, experts worry this boom may be temporary. “I wasn’t in the market for a boat this year,” said Barney Rawson a Senior Vice President at the recently rescued Citibank, “but I figured I’d better buy this Carver 47 Motor Yacht now, before those greedy auto workers get a free handout from the government or Obama comes in and tries to spread the wealth around. This may be the last time I get such a large bonus for losing Citibank so much money.”


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