TURKEY PARDONS BUSH, PALIN
By R J Shulman
CONWAY, Arkansas – (PTSD News) – Just moments before being slaughtered, a 32 pound turkey named Francis pardoned President George W. Bush. Gordon Molina, better known as “the Turkey Whisperer” to his loyal viewers on his popular Animal Planet TV show, said that Francis, told him that “he was grateful for the life he had led, thanking God saying, father, please forgive Bush and Cheney for than know not what they do.”

Molina said that Francis also pardoned Sarah Palin even though she “made millions watch the senseless slaughter of my brother, Clarkson Turkey.” “If Francis was just given a little more time,” Molina said, “he would have pardoned the whole Bush Administration as Francis so aptly told me, ‘they just couldn’t help being the way they were. They are just birds of a feather.’”

“Turkeys are fighting a courageous battle,” said Molina. “First, their name ‘turkey’ has become synonymous with being a real loser. Then the yearly holocaust where any turkey becomes fair game. Even if I am just one voice, crying out in the wilderness, I cry foul.”