BUSH ISSUES EXECUTIVE ORDER TO “TEACHICATE THE AMERICAN PEOPLE ABOUT GOOD FINANIAL MONEYS”
By R J Shulman
WASHINGTON – With an eye toward the mortgage crisis and flagging economy, President George W. Bush issued an executive order promoting financial literacy. “I will learn the American people to be wise owls with their wallets,” Bush announced.

“First, the American people must understand that they cannot waste their hard paid cash on stupid foreign adventures overseas,” Bush warned. “Then they should be careful not to waste money on greedy friends who know they have dollars to burn on projects where they don’t get the lowest bidders. If America had only followed my lead,” Bush said, “we wouldn’t now be up a paddle without a creek.”