GIULIANI: IF ELECTED, I’LL NAME BERNIE KERIK JAIL CZAR
By R J Shulman
KEOKUK, Iowa - While on the campaign trail in Iowa, Presidential hopeful Rudy Giuliani told a group of his supporters that he would appoint long time colleague Bernie Kerik to be his “jail czar.” Standing beneath a huge banner that read, “9-11 we will never forget America’s Mayor,” Giuliani said, “What better way to reform the jail system than with someone who has been on both sides of the law.” Kerik, once Giuliani’s recommended nominee for chief of Homeland Security, is facing up to thirty years in jail for bribery.

Guiaini also disclosed that he would tap ex-Representative Mark Foley to oversee a new department of Children’s Safety. “He has had hands on experience and would be able to identify predators right away,” said Giuliani. The former New York Mayor also disclosed he would nominate Senator Larry Craig for Secretary of Defense, because “if anybody could come up with defenses to defend the undefendable, its Larry.”