PRESIDENT BUSH TO BREAK HOLLYWOOD/TV WRITERS STRIKE
By R J Shulman
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a move reminiscent of President Ronald Regan’s breaking of the air traffic controllers union, President George W. Bush has ordered some of his staff and supporters to report to work to write TV and movie scripts. “In a world creeping in terrorist killers,” the President said, “the American people rely on television sets to get their bread and circuses and we can’t have a bunch of terrorist writers kill their chance of getting in some chuckles and learnicating what Jack Bower will do next against terrorists in the name of the home of the brave.”

Presidential Press Secretary Dana Perino said, “all in all, this is a good way to get rid of the communistic America hating writers anyway, and provide us with benefits like we got from Hurricane Katrina which finally got rid of all the blighted public housing in and around New Orleans. We already have made strides in replacing news reporters,” Perino said, “we smoked Dan Rather, for example and have been replacing real journalists with our good friends, just look at Fox News.”

Now the Bush Administration is replacing the writers. The first show to use these new writers will be the Daily Show. The Post Times Sun Dispatch has obtained a copy of the first script. The opening comment for John Stewart will be “Isn’t it great how Bush has succeeded in helping Americans to put food on their family and now thanks to the Commander in chief, OBGYN’s are once again practicing their love for women all over the country.” “This show is going to be one helluva side splitting ride,” said one unnamed source.