BUSH SAYS WATER BOARDING NOT TORTURE, BUT AN ALL AMERICAN SPORT

By R J Shulman

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Bush weighed in today on the controversy regarding the use of water boarding by saying it is “as American as Mother Pie and Applehood.” He cited that the Beach Boys and Jan and Dean sang all kinds of songs about it.

“It was all about tying your water board to the roof of your woody station wagon with the wood on the sides,” the President said. “Whether you were ‘hanging ten,’ which I wish I had thought of when I was governor of Texas, or ‘shooting the girl,’ water boarding is not torture, unless they played “Little Surfer Girl” too many times on the radio.”