BUSH TO TURKEY: LET THE KURDS HAVE THEIR WAY
By R J Shulman

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a sharply worded communiqué, President Bush told Turkey to refrain from invading Northern Iraq to contain Kurdish rebels. “It is against the law as well as not legal to invadicate another nation with sovereignty just to furthersize a leader’s whims of desire unless, of course the desiring whims are from the decider, meaning me.” The President is trying to curb the growing tensions between Turkey and the Kurds in northern Iraq after raids by the Kurdistan Workers Party or P.K.K. killed 12 Turkish soldiers.

“At the moment,” the President continued in his message to Turkey, “the Kurds are our allies in friendship, so you must understand that we want you to let the Kurds have their way. So don’t do anything cheesy that will destroy their cottage industries and curdle their economy.”