BUSH TO SEND FIRE FIGHTING EQUIPMENT TO NEW ORLEANS
By R J Shulman
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In the wake of the devastating wild fires that are raging out of control in Southern California, President Bush pledged today “because of the lessons learned in the Katrina Tornado, I will make sure the Federal Government folks will send some hoses and stuff and people power to New Orleans to fight those fires that are burnicating. In fact,” the President continued, “we will send a surge of fire power to contain the terrorist flames over there so we won’t have to fight them over here and then I will have General Petraeus make progress reports on the progress.”

When asked if this meant that the President was admitting that mistakes were made regarding Hurricane Katrina, Presidential Press Secretary Dana Perino said, “There were no mistakes made by the President, just lessons learned.” When asked why the President was sending fire fighting help to New Orleans instead of Southern California where the fires actually were, Perino said, “The President is using the same reasoning he used successfully after we were attacked my mostly Saudi nationals in 9-11, where he then invaded Iraq.”

The Post Times Sun Dispatch has learned from a reliable source that Vice President Dick Cheney has already visited California to survey the damage and while standing in the flames, near Ramona, said “aaahhh! this feels just like home to me.”