DEMS ASK REPRESENTATIVE STARK TO APPOLOGIZE FOR BEING BORN
By R. J. Shulman

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has publicly asked Representative Pete Stark to apologize not only for his remark that President Bush sends troops to Iraqi “to get their heads blown off for his amusement,” but for Stark to say he is sorry for ever being born. “We have so much apologizing to do already,” said Pelosi, “that Stark’s unfortunate remark has put us further behind schedule.” Pelosi is referring to the fact that the Republicans never apologize for anything, leaving the entire apologizing burden to the already stressed out Democrats.

“I am appaulicated by what that Stark fellah said about me,” the President said while watching a recent video of some of the fighting in Iraqi, “I have sended the troops to Iraq to get their heads blowed off not for my amusement but for my – holy cow, did you see the way that guy’s arm got blowed off, like some busted twig on my ranch. One minute he’s holding a picture of his wife and kids and the next, that arm is flying though the air like some hail Mary pass from Tony Romo. Hey, Cheney, run the machine back so I can see an instant replay. Heh-heh, Heh-heh."