MYSTERIOUS NEW FIRES BREAK OUT IN CALIFORNIA AFTER BUSH VISIT
By R J Shulman

POWAY, California – Authorities are puzzled at the outbreak of at least a dozen new fires that broke out after President Bush visited fire ravaged areas of Southern California. “We are not sure what happened,” said Sergei Moss of the San Diego Fire Department, “one minute the President said he was pleased to send Federal help and the next thing you know, some nearby brush burst into flames.”

“We finally got our fire under control,” said Connie Hutchinson, Mayor of Poway, California, a town that has lost over 200 houses to the blaze, “until the President said something about caring about what happens to Californians. Then, poof, the whole side of the road ignited.”

In addition to the aid he promised, the President said, “I am taking out my veto pen to vetocate any new fires that the Democrats send to me. As you know, the American people must understand that any global warming that could be heating up is caused by the fires, as fires burn hot flames that give off heat and the name calling defeat-o-crats are always fannicating the flames on something or other.”