IT’S HALLOWEEN AND BUSH COMES AS “THE DECIDER GUY”
By R J Shulman
WEIRDINGTON, D.C. – For the nation’s official Halloween Party, President George W. Bush decided to come as the “decider guy.” “As the top Presidential leader of the free world,” Bush said, “I deducicated that it would be most good for me to be able to make up my mind to decide decisions. In my life I couldn’t decide if I should be a drunken frat boy or an oil man who loses money, a baseball guy who trades away Sammy Sosa or a guy who governs a state by executing laws and criminals, but now I decided to decide to be the decider.”

“Wow,” said Dan Rather, who came dressed as a newsman, “in all my years, this is the scariest thing I have ever seen in the White House.”

When asked about Bush’s new character, Vice President Dick Cheney who did not need to dress up to scare the jovial crowd, said, “don't worry, the decider guy is in his final throes.”