WEAPONS OF MASS DISTRUCTION FIND HANS BLIX
By R J Shulman
BETHESDA, Maryland – While on his way to testify to Congress about how he had found no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq before the war began, former UN weapons inspector Hans Blix’s car was hit with a massive explosion that destroyed five whole blocks of this quiet Washington suburb. Initial estimates are that the massive blast killed 28 people, but the Post Times Sun Dispatch could not confirm these reports as all of our staff had to leave the P-T-S-D Building after anthrax was mailed to the PTSD managing editor.

“How ironical,” said President Bush upon learning of the incident “that Hans Blix wouldn’t know a weapon of mass destruction if it jumped up and bit him dead.” So far, authorities are baffled by the origin of the explosion “We have no idea who could have made such a sophisticated weapon,” said Steve Holt of the FBI team investigating the blast. “as such cutting edge technology is only matched by a secret US government program to curb terrorists.”