GIULIANI IN IRAQ SCOUTING FOR LOCATION OF NEW SECURITY POST

by R J Shulman

FALLUJA, Iraq - In a move that some say is jumping the gun, Republican Presidential front-runner, Rudulph Guiliani is touring Iraq to find a suitable location to house his Homeland Security Office if he is elected President. "It did so well for me to have my New York Security office in the World Trade Center when 911 struck," Giuliani told the Post Times Sun Dispatch, "that I want to find the most vulnerable spot for a US Homeland Secuirty Offiice." His finest moment," said top Giuliani aide, Anthony "Fat Tony" La Rosa "was the picture of him wandering the streets with a bullhorn after his security office was destroyed. It created an immage with the peolple of a man fully in charge."

Not everyone thinks this is the actions of a sane man. Psychologist, Max Langdon of Johns Hopkins University Research Center in Baltimore, Maryland said that Giuliani is suffering from a new mental disorder. "It's where an individual creates a disaster just so that they can then act like to hero to solve the problem," Dr. Langdon said. "When women make their children sick and then try to save them, we call it Muchhausen by Proxy, when a politician causes a problem and then tries to act the hero, we call it Bushausen by Proxy, named after George W. Bush who allowed 911 to happen and then bullhorned his way into the hearts of the American people."