KARL ROVE'S FAMILY BEGS HIM NOT TO RESIGN

by R J Shulman

WASHINGTON - In an interview with the Wall Street Journal, Karl Rove announced that he will resign his position as President Bush's advisor after 6 and a half years to spend "more time with my family. And to avoid," said Rove, "being interrupted by W asking dumb questions like how to spell apocalypse."

However, in an exclusive to the Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch, Rove's wife Darcy said she has begged Karl to keep his job. "I don't know what I'd do if I have to deal with that round faced little porker 24/7." "I told daddy dear that rather than torture Ma and me," said Rove's son Andrew, 19, "that there are plenty of elections to steal and dirty tricks to be performed."

The President had no comment but was heard wandering the White House corridors whistling a tune from the Wizard of Oz. "I think it was 'If I Only Had a Brain," said an unnamed spokesman.