BUSH: PROGRESS BEING MADE ON PLAME OUTING COVER-UP
by R J Shulman
WASHINGTON – “With my friend, that Judge Bates tossin' out Valerie Plame’s lawsuit against Dick Cheney, Operation Cover-up about the release of Plame’s name to the press folks is almost competicated,” Bush told reporters gathered at the White House Rose Garden. “The President would like to thank the American people,” said Presidential Press Secretary Tony Snow, “for their patience in allowing time for the administration’s surge in lies to finally take effect.”

“I would like to commend the President,” said Vice President Dick Cheney from an undisclosed bunker, “for having the foresight to appoint Judge Bates whose disregard for the law was so helpful in removing the terrorist threat of Valarie Plame and her enemy combatant supporters from being able to launch a successful attack agaist me and Karl Rove.”

“The President is a man of his word,” said I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby, finally breaking his silence after the President commuted his sentence for perjury and obstruction of justice in the Plame case, "George said that when he found out who was responsible for the Plame name leak, he would take care of them, and I am living proof of that.”

Sources close to the President say that Bush will be able to claim “mission accomplished” for Operation Cover-up as soon as a few loose ends are sent to Guantanimo for storage.