BUSH TO DECLARE PROGRESS BEING MADE ON REPORT DUE CONGRESS ON IRAQ PROGRESS
by R J Shulman
WASHINGTON, D.C. – While not claiming that his report to congress regarding the situation in Iraq has met all its benchmarks, the President will announce the report will have “most of the stuff” that Congress wants to read about. Under a promise of anonymity, a senior White House staff member told the Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch that the President wants everyone to know that reports that his report was going to be an absolute failure were premature. “There will be a bunch of pages with writing on them,” said the unnamed official, “and it looks like we got the right ink in the printer, but there will still need to be some improvements in spelling, grammar and the proper spin of the truth that we hope to have completed in time for the September report.”

“I hope that Congress can have some patience,” said President Bush, “as preparing reports is hard, hard work.” The reports requested by the newly Democratic controlled Congress will be the first after the recent Presidential order for a surge in US misinformation in Iraq.