DOCTOR SAYS LIBBY SAVED FROM FATAL HEART ATTACK WHEN HIS SENTENCE WAS COMMUTED
by R J Shulman
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Dr. Thomas Matthews, of the CDC in Atlanta, released a medical report today, which concludes that George W. Bush may have saved I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby from having a life-ending coronary when the President spared Libby from having to go to jail. Studies have indicated that a mysterious life-threatening heart ailment may develop for anyone close to Vice President Dick Cheney who has to serve jail time. "This disease seems to be brought on by the sudden urge to start talking, once jail time is eminent," Matthews said.

‘We don’t know if there is a risk of contagion from the Vice President who has his own heart problems,” said Matthews, “but, unfortunately the ‘get out of jail free’ cure was not available for close Cheney asssociate Kenneth Lay, founder of Enron, after his conviction.” Lay died of a fatal heart attack after his conviction in the Enron fraud case, but before he could plea-bargain to reduce his sentence .