O.J. SIMPSON TO TAKE A STAB AT PRESIDENTIAL RACE
by R J Shulman
BOCA RATON, Fla – In a surprise announcement, O. J. Simpson has announced his intention to enter the Presidential primaries. “This may be the only job I could take where my approval rating just couldn’t be lower than the last guy who had the job,” O. J. said. “If I did kill two people,” Simpson continued, “that is still way less than W who has slaughtered a lot more with all his crazy wars and shit.” When asked about his credentials for the job, O. J. said, “You got to be joking. The little Bush was just a cheerleader in college, while I was eating up the record books on the football field of battle.”

“There should be no problem with someone like O. J. Simpson becoming President,” said one unnamed Beltway political pundit. “It wouldn’t be the first time someone in the White House got away with murder.”