PARIS HILTON TO SERVE SCOOTER LIBBY’S TERM
By R J Shulman
HOLLYWOOD, Ca. – In a move that caught everyone by surprise, Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer has ordered Paris Hilton to serve out the jail sentence of I. “Scooter” Libby. “If you thought that your 30 days were rough,” said the Judge, who seemed to be angered by Ms. Hilton’s attempt to avoid jail due to a unspecified medical condition, “just see how you like serving the term of a real hard-core celebrity jailbird.” The judge then told her to go directly to Libby’s cell. Scooter Libby, Vice President Dick Cheney’s former chief of staff received a 30 month sentence for perjury and obstruction of justice.

“It’s a win-win situation,” said Nicole Ritchie, who co-stared with Paris on FOX TV’s The Simple Life. “By going to the men’s prison, not only does Paris get to avoid tough prison women who are out to kill her, but she gets an ample opportunity to make some hot new prison sex tapes for the internet.” Ritchie also noted another advantage of prison. “I hear the food is so bad, that you can’t eat it.”

A spokesman for Scooter Libby, who now has to serve Hilton's term, had a mixed reaction, “While it is nice the sentence is shorter, some of those prison gals are pretty hard core men-haters.”

“The President is pleased,” said White House Press Secretary Tony Snow, “as he will not have to waste political capital to pardon Libby, but can save such pardons for the rest of his administration that are surely going to need them.”