SCOOTER CRUSHED BY BUS
by R J Shulman
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a freak accident that has shocked Washington insiders, Vice President Dick Cheney’s former Chief of Staff, I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby, was run over by a bus. “It was so scary,” said Otis Williams, a resident of the Capital. “One minute I hear the President say ‘you doin’ a heck of a job, Scooter.’ And the next thing, I see this man in a suit get pushed right under a big ass bus.”

An unnamed official says that Mr. Libby will be out of commission for about thirty months. When asked about the turn of events, Vice President Dick Cheney said, “it’s a real shame that the liberal media doesn’t report the good news in this story, such as how much better it is Scooter got run down over there instead of me getting run down over here.”