PRESIDENT BUSH REPLACED BY IMMIGRANT GUEST WORKER
by R J Shulman
WASHINGTON, D. C. - In a surprise move the Government Accounting Office replaced President George W. Bush with Jose Gutierrez, a former illegal immigrant from Los Moches, Mexico. Gutierrez is now considered a guest worker under the recently enacted immigration reform bill. “We kind of killed two birds with one stone,” said Frank Spivey, of the GAO, “we save the American taxpayer over $66,000 on the President’s salary and found a temporary job for Mr. Gutierrez.” “We feel Mr. Gutierrez is well qualified,” Spivey continued, “as like Mr. Bush, Jose has a poor grasp of English and is a recovering alcoholic who basically failed at everything he tried before he will take the highest office.”

“Some may find irony in that Mr. Bush was replaced by someone who was now allowed to legally find US employment due to a bill that Bush himself supported and signed into law,” said former Presidential Press Secretary Tony Snow, “but this turn of events will allow George W. the chance to finally clear the brush from his ranch in Crawford.”

In a related move, Vice President Dick Cheney has been replaced by Lupe Gonzales, a newly categorized hotel guest worker from Monterrey, Mexico. “I think,” said Ms. Gonzales through an interpreter, “that I would rather clean bunkers over here in the US, than over there in Mexico.” “Not only do we save a bundle on Mr. Cheney’s salary,” said Trenton Singleton, of the GAO, “be we save a ton on medical bills as it was getting cost prohibitive trying to keep Cheney’s defective heart pumping.”